When those we love are suffering, we may not be able to remove their struggles, but we can still offer something truly valuable.
When a close family member was grieving a sudden, unexpected job loss, I felt useless as I watched them struggle. Without financial resources, professional connections, or extensive life experience, I was entirely underqualified to help change their situation—especially since I was moving to another state that very weekend.
Photo by Philip Justin Mamelic
But just because I couldn’t ease their physical circumstances didn’t mean I couldn’t still help my family member. In his BYU devotional “Being Christ’s Compassionate Hands,” psychologist and former director of Counseling and Psychological Services at BYU Dr. Steven A. Smith offers valuable insights into how we can offer meaningful support even when we feel we have nothing to give
For example, Dr. Smith explains that one way we can offer support is by developing our capacity for compassion, which is the willingness to suffer alongside someone without having experienced their same challenge. Compassion is an internal openness to feeling the pain of someone’s situation and standing by their side as they go through it. Dr. Smith shares that “a willingness to enter and understand suffering can be one of the most healing things we can do.”
This is exactly what I found with my family member. When they were at their lowest and were trying to process the shock of losing their job, I sat with them, cried with them, and simply existed with them, hoping to ease their pain by sharing my love for them. I didn’t offer money, find them a new job, or offer life-changing advice. But when they texted me the next day and thanked me for just being there, I realized that compassion is a gift in and of itself.
When we feel powerless to help others, we must remember that we can all offer compassion, which is far more valuable than we might think.
For more insights on how to develop compassion, read or listen to Dr. Steven A. Smith’s full speech, “Being Christ’s Compassionate Hands.”
Source: BYU Speeches
—Ashlyn Tilby, Latter-day Saint Insights
FEATURE IMAGE BY KAROLA G
Find more insights
Take a look at Elder David A. Bednar’s article “A Christlike Character” to learn more about compassion.