Families are essential to the plan of salvation, but what do we do if our family doesn’t fit the traditional mold?
Every birthday as a little girl, I would wish to become a fairy-mermaid when blowing out my birthday candles. When I was older, I asked my mom what she had wished for as a child. She had wished for an eternal family. My grandpa isn’t a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so my mom grew up in a part-member home. Unlike her friends, she was baptized by her home teacher instead of her dad. For many years, she went to church on her own while her family went through periods of inactivity. My mom’s story helps me remember that not all families look the same and that not everyone fits into the Latter-day Saint ideal. So how do families who fall outside of that ideal fit inside gospel doctrine?
In his address “The Family-Centered Gospel of Jesus Christ,” President Dallin H. Oaks teaches that “not all of our families are traditional. Divorce, death, and separation are realities.” When President Oaks was seven years old, he lost his father to tuberculosis, leaving him and his siblings to be raised by their mother and grandparents. Despite this devastating loss, his mother prayed for guidance and strength from the Lord, continuing to teach her children the gospel, which guided them through their tragedy. However, the death of their father was a constant reality.
Photo by Dvir Adler
“The family circle is the ideal place to demonstrate and learn eternal values, such as the importance of marriage and children, the purpose of life, and the true source of joy,” declares President Oaks. The purpose of a family is not to fit a particular mold, but to create an environment of learning, growth, and loving support. From single parents, to parentless children, to childless couples, no matter what our families look like, we can still fulfill the divine role of families by teaching truth and creating an environment where the Spirit abides within the walls of our homes.
Our families may never look like the ideal in this life—and that is okay! The purpose of this life is to learn and grow by overcoming trials. Families, no matter their size or shape, are an essential tool for guiding us through the joys and sorrows of life. Some of us may not have happy or whole families, but we can create a family with the people most important to us. And really, we all are part of a heavenly family—God’s family! If we strive to point our lives towards Jesus Christ and align our values with his gospel, we can expect a joyful family reunion in the next life, no matter our current circumstances.
Discover more about family by reading President Dallin H. Oaks’s full talk, “The Family-Centered Gospel of Jesus Christ.”
Source: General Conference
—Emma Jean Nelson, Latter-day Saint Insights
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Find more insights
To read about the Church’s stance on family, read “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.”
Learn how the family unit is integral to a stable society by reading Elder Ronald A. Rasband’s talk “The Family Proclamation—Words from God.”