The Savior’s path is the only path that can take me somewhere that matters, so I’ll always choose to stay with him.
I don’t always feel that the Savior is walking with me, that the man who lived a perfect life would care to tag along as I stumble my way through mortality. I have felt alone. Depressed. Dejected. Discouraged. Scared. Worried. Unworthy. Sometimes I wish Jesus would just take these feelings away immediately, or never let me feel them in the first place. I wonder if Christ is there because, unlike the biblical Peter, I can’t physically see him. Faith says this shouldn’t matter, but sometimes it does to me.
Yet, on the days when I feel that there is no Balm of Gilead, that I have been abandoned by the Good Shepherd who is supposed to go after the one, I still choose to stay. Because even though walking with the Savior is sometimes overwhelming, and often lonely, and always difficult, I know his path is the only path that even claims to go somewhere that matters: home to a loving Heavenly Father. The world’s path might take me to pleasure or wealth, but it can never take me home.
And while I don’t always feel that the Savior is there to walk me home, I choose to believe that he is because even when I don’t know, I’d rather have a belief grounded in hope than no belief and no hope.
I know that Jesus Christ is the source of that hope, so, like Peter I ask, “Where else would I go?”
Because when I’m stuck in my sinfulness or my sorrow and the world says just to be, the Savior says to become. In becoming I can know him better, and knowing him better will lift me out of my ineptitude and my darkness. And I want that, so I stay.
Because when science fails and death trumps and evil spreads like a malignant tumor, Jesus tells me that the good guys win in the end, that he is coming back. And I choose to trust him, so I stay.
My faith is imperfect, and Christ’s path is devastatingly difficult at times, but his is still the only path that gives me hope and takes me home. That is why I stay.
—Samantha K. Jex, Latter-day Saint Insights contributor
FEATURE IMAGE BY LDS MEDIA LIBRARY
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