Let’s face it: being single can sometimes make us sad. But if we focus on that too much we miss out on all the other good things happening in our lives.
“How do I know if a girl is interested in me?”
I didn’t expect to receive this question from a new acquaintance I had just met a few minutes earlier, and I felt unqualified to answer because I hadn’t been on a date in six months. This question, and the conversation that followed, started a friendship with this new acquaintance, and as our friendship grew, our conversations focused on our disappointing love lives.
In “Learning to Be Happy While I’m Single,” Landon Hawes describes how discouraged he felt about not having a partner after several failed relationships. His friend told him something that changed his viewpoint: “Your happiness depends on you—not on someone else. When you’re happy when you’re single, you can be happy in any circumstances.”
By focusing too much on our relationship status, we risk bringing in sadness and anger and kicking out happiness. I experienced this happiness void when I saw classmates at BYU and old friends from Young Women classes get married and start having families. I had become blind to the great things happening in my life.
Being single isn’t something I’m sad about anymore. I’m seeing blessings now that I wouldn’t have noticed by solely focusing on being single. I’ve found I’m very happy when I hang out with friends I care about and when I fulfill my calling. I can go to my YSA ward and have fun with others my age. We don’t have to wait for someone else to be happy—we can enjoy our lives regardless of our relationship status.
Read more of Landon Hawes’s advice about how to be happy and single in his article “Learning to Be Happy While I’m Single.”
—Xochitl Bott, Latter-day Saint Insights
FEATURE IMAGE BY MATHEUS FERRERO
Find more insights
Read Maryssa Dennis’s Latter-day Saint Insights article “Single and Still Faithful” to learn how to avoid being discouraged while being single.