couple on bench

Finding and Giving Love

The scriptures tell us to love others as we love ourselves. Elder Holland helps us understand what that really means.

words on white with blue aboveIn a Brigham Young University devotional address in 2000, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland discussed ways we can find and give true love.

Elder Holland emphasizes that true love is divine love—or charity. Charity is bestowed upon us by God, he says. “It doesn’t come without effort and it doesn’t come without patience, but, like salvation itself, in the end it is a gift, given by God.”

Finding love. True love is kind, selfless, courageous, slow to anger, and attentive. Elder Holland encourages us to find people who can give us that kind of love. He says, “I would not have you spend five minutes with someone who belittles you, who is constantly critical of you.” Instead, Elder Holland says that we should find someone who brings out the best in us and takes joy in our happiness.

Giving love. We must also be willing to give true love. Elder Holland explains that “to give ourselves totally to another person . . . is an act of faith—faith all of us must be willing to exercise.” As we do so, we should be mindful of those we are in relationships with. Elder Holland explains, “Friends, sweethearts, and spouses need to be able to monitor each other’s stress and recognize the different tides and seasons of life.” We must love in ways that help us lift each other up, showing our love in ways that will make life better for our loved one.

“How should I love thee?” Elder Holland asks. His answer focuses on Christlike love: We should love “as He does, for that way ‘never faileth.’” As we pray for charity, God will bless us with love that does not fail and will not end.

Read Elder Holland’s full article, “How Do I Love Thee?”
Source: BYU Speeches
—Marissa Compton, Mormon Insights

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  1. I love this post. Great picture quote and great message!

  2. This is a great reminder of how we need to be like Christ in our relationships. It’s good to remember that loving someone requires faith—faith in that person’s character and faith that you’ll be able to work through tough things together.

  3. I love this! I think sometimes we focus on how we should be loved that we forget how we should love others and it’s so important for us to ask every single day how we can make life better for our loved ones. Thanks for sharing!

  4. This had been a topic in my mind lately, and I really liked how there is such an emphasis placed on being kind and Uplifting your loved one. Sometimes that seems like a trait that is lost when we start thinking about ourselves, but it is crucial to have kindness and charity for your significant Other at all times. Thank you for bringing this point to light!

  5. Wonderful article!

  6. This was such a sweet article. I’m glad to see a focus on love in more than just a romantic sense. If we remember to love everyone in our life the way Christ loves them, our relationships will be so much stronger.

  7. It’s really important to know how the people you love accept love and then to try to show it in those ways. For example, I have a close friend who really appreciates help with tasks he doesn’t like to do but I appreciate spoken words of kindness and love. it helps you learn to sacrifice when you learn how others receive love.

  8. Elder Holland hits the nail on the head again in talking about love in marriage. So much emphasis is placed on romantic love that for many the concept of charity within marriage is obscured–and that’s precisely what endures and steadies a marriage through the majority of its existence between a couple. Couldn’t say it any better and with more depth of understanding–thanks for the reminder!

  9. “We must love in ways that help us lift each other up, showing our love in ways that will make life better for our loved one.” This is a great quote! I am married, and I know the struggle of showing true love to your spouse everyday. sometimes, I take our relationship for granted and I don’t make life easier for him. but i know when i make a conscious effort to do so, i am focused less on myself and my own weaknesses, and i am filled with the love that the savior is willing to give us as we are willing to give of ourselves. share the love!

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