Is Marriage Worth It?

The world says marriage is risky. Religion and research say it’s the key to happiness. So, is marriage worth it?

In a time of high divorce rates and cultures that celebrate independence, marriage can feel like it brings more pain than happiness. I’ll admit, I’ve been afraid of marriage myself. Not because I doubt love exists, but because I worry about committing to someone who might one day take me for granted. So, like many single adults, I keep asking: Is marriage worth it?

Both religion and research answer with a resounding yes—especially if both partners understand what makes a marriage fulfilling. President Gordon B. Hinckley presents his equation for a happy marriage in his address “The Women in Our Lives.” He suggests, “If every husband and every wife would constantly do whatever might be possible to ensure the comfort and happiness of his or her companion, there would be very little, if any, divorce.”

Marriages suffer not because we are incapable of love or devotion, but because we lose sight of being our partners’ cheerleaders. Marriage is worth the risk when each party rises to the responsibility of honoring, respecting, and nurturing their partner. President Hinckley gives a powerful example of this from his own life: “In our old age my beloved companion said to me quietly one evening, ‘You have always given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it.’”

President Hinckley further pleads with couples to “look for and nurture the divinity that lies within their companions. To the degree that happens, there will be harmony, peace, enrichment of family life, nurturing love.”

The Harvard Study of Adult Development—the longest-running study on happiness—found that people gain happiness from their close relationships, rather than their worldly achievements. The happiest, healthiest men in this nearly century-long study weren’t the richest or the most successful—they were the ones in loving, committed relationships they could really depend on.

Ultimately, the truth about marriage is simple: When we nurture the divinity of our partners and serve them, we not only cultivate peace for them, but we also directly impact the happiness and longevity of our own lives. As we cherish our current (or future) companion, our resulting happiness will be worth it.

Read President Gordon B. Hinckley’s full address “The Women in Our Lives” to learn more about how we can improve relationship dynamics. 

Source: General Conference

—Ellie Lallatin, Latter-day Saint Insights

FEATURE IMAGE BY DWI WORO

Find more insights 

Read Hannah Walker’s Latter-day Saint Insights article “Marriage: How It Can Grow Sweeter with Age” to learn tips for a long-lasting marriage.

To learn more about cultivating a happy marriage, read “Thou Shalt Love Thy Wife with All Thy Heart” by Elder Henry D. Taylor.