Rather than relying on Hollywood’s depiction of love, let’s trust the Lord’s prophets to guide us on how to choose a spouse.
We’ve all heard the beautiful chimes that ring in movies when two people finally meet and marry. We sigh and ache to find “the one” for ourselves. But despite our most valiant efforts to hear the music and find “the one,” reality doesn’t seem to work that way.
In a Brigham Young University devotional, Thomas B. Holman, a professor of marriage, family, and human development at BYU, dispels the false expectations that Hollywood movies and books can teach us regarding love.
Since our mortal bodies fall apart with time, relying on physical attraction shortchanges our ability to love. Brother Holman quotes President Spencer W. Kimball: “The love of which the Lord speaks is not only physical attraction, but also faith, confidence, understanding, and partnership. It is devotion and companionship, parenthood, common ideals, and standards. It is cleanliness of life and sacrifice and unselfishness. This kind of love never tires nor wanes.”
Brother Holman suggests that as we search for love, we look for someone who complements us in our strengths and weaknesses. The cliché “opposites attract” is true in many ways, but opposites can also conflict if a man and woman don’t share the same core values.
When we look for the best possible teammate for the game of life, we want to find not only someone we enjoy being with during the good times, but also someone we can trust and love during the hard times.
Read Thomas B. Holman’s full article, “The Right Person, the Right Place, the Right Time: Guidelines for Wisely Choosing a Spouse.”
Source: BYU Speeches
—Chelsea Jamison, Mormon Insights
feature image by vu toan
I love this description of the lord’s way of love! I agree that we should look for “someone who complements us in our strengths and weaknesses.” Love is so much fun when you have common goals, desires, interests, and core values, but differ in your strengths and weaknesses. There is so much to learn, and having someone who is strong in your weak points helps you to be able to grow and improve.
This is such an important topic–we are supposed to be teammates! We really see that with the prophets and apostles and their spouses; they are teammates and so obviously love each other. When we lift each other up during hard times and rejoice with each other when things go right, we know we are never alone. Heavenly Father is always there, but he wants us to help and love each other as well.
What a great article. It is so important to be realistic while searching for a companion but also to hold fast to core beliefs and values.