I realized that even in the darkest of times, God is always available to me. We are never too unworthy to talk to God.
The Paris train station was getting more crowded by the minute as I made my way through customs. It had been a phenomenal trip, but the last day was full of one mishap after the next. I and my travel group were glad to be getting on a train to take us back to London. As I made my way through customs, one of the workers at the booth was very unpleasant to me. It seemed she was also having a bad day.
Photo by Jake Givens
After trying to maintain my patience with this grumpy woman, I dragged my luggage behind me and heard the woman start to sing the words “I hate rude people.” For me, that was the final straw. It was a hot day, and I’d been lugging my bags around for hours; we had gotten lost and had to navigate our way through the Parisian streets, we’d been stuck on a bus crammed with sweaty people, and now this lady was acting like a five-year-old insulting me. I bit my lip to hold back tears, told my travel group I’d be back, and ran to the bathroom.
Once I locked myself in a stall, the tears started dripping down my cheeks. I was at an all-time low, with no friends or family around me. After trying to think of a way I could possibly get WiFi to contact my friends, another thought popped into my head: pray.
I was a little surprised at the thought. I had not prayed in over a year. I had struggled with my testimony for a while and had distanced myself from God. I felt unworthy to pray, and even if I did pray I didn’t feel like God would care or listen to what I had to say. However, I was desperate to feel some sort of comfort. After a few minutes of internal conflict, I bowed my head and explained my current situation to God. I was astounded when I felt immediate peace and love from my Heavenly Father. I began to weep again—this time out of relief and joy to know that God still loved me.
In the talk “He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home,” President Dieter F. Uchtdorf says that God “knows when you are lost, and He knows where you are. He knows your grief. Your silent pleadings. Your fears. Your tears. It matters not how you became lost. . . . What matters is that you are His child. And He loves you. He loves His children.”
I was lost, and I needed help. I was in a desperate situation and, even though I hadn’t been making all the right choices, God was still there to help and comfort me when I needed him. We are never so unworthy that God will abandon us. He’ll be there for us in our darkest of times if we’ll reach out to him.
Read President Dieter F. Uchtdorf’s full talk “He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home” to learn more about the unconditional love of our Heavenly Father.
Source: LDS General Conference
—Sarah Shields, Mormon Insights
feature image by mike erskine
Find more insights
Read Luke 15:11–32 to learn about how God ministers to his lost sheep.
Watch the Mormon Message “The Hope of God’s Light” to learn more about the ways through which God reaches out to us in our times of need.