Learning Through Grief and Finding Happiness

In a world full of unexpected grief and trials, finding happiness comes not from avoiding sorrow, but from turning to Christ in the midst of it.

I often ask myself how to hold on to joy when tragedy strikes. In moments of helplessness, optimism feels out of reach. I felt this way going into my positive living class one day after one of those moments of tragedy; I couldn’t force myself to feel hopeful. After class, I spoke with my instructor about the weight of my recent grief and if it was possible to move forward when horrible things happen. I expected advice on how to feel better, maybe even strategies for pushing through. But instead, my instructor said something that surprised me: “You should feel what you’re feeling. There’s no such thing as a bad emotion. Each one has a purpose.”

His words remind me of Elder Mathias Held’s April 2024 general conference address, “Opposition in All Things.” Elder Held teaches that emotions like sorrow and fear are not weaknesses, but an important part of God’s plan. “We would not be able to identify joy unless we had also experienced sorrow,” he says. This eternal truth echoes the teachings in 2 Nephi 2:23–25: that opposition, even in painful forms, allows us to experience the full depth of joy. We cannot truly experience joy without falling first.

Knowing that joy is on the other side of trials helps give me the strength to endure them. If we look for the lessons in the midst of our grief, we can gain wisdom that is impossible to attain without the strain of trials. And as we seek to learn from our trials and gain that wisdom, the most important part is learning to lean on Jesus Christ. Elder Held states that “we can seek to learn from the experience and ask for our Lord’s help and support, or we can think that we are on our own in this trial and that we must suffer it alone.” 

True happiness isn’t found in avoiding pain but in experiencing it with the assurance that Jesus Christ walks with us through our sorrow and will be there when the joy returns.

Read Elder Mathias Held’s full address to more fully understand the role of opposition in our lives and how Christ can strengthen us: “Opposition in All Things.” 

—Ellie Lallatin, Latter-day Saint Insights

FEATURE IMAGE BY LIZA SUMMER

Find more insights 

Read “Living Harmoniously With Others” by Julia Provost to learn about how to be a peacemaker when you disagree with others. 

If you are looking to learn more about how trials can be used for good, read “Personalized, Purposeful, and Sometimes Ironically Painful Trials” by Mindy Selu.